She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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