Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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