well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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