Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Girls should come with a carfax report
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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