it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
