Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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