They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
