I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
