sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
