hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
