The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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