he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
