Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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