I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
