Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
