I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
