Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
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i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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