he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
