I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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