I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
