you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
