your thong is hanging out like whoa
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
did i walk over a car last night?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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