Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
