the condom got lost in my hair
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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