I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize