after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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