I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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