my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
