I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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