If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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