How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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