Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
