There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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