their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
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He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize