8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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