What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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