i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
