Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
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I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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