Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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