Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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