Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
