period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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