I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
