if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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