I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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