We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
