Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
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I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
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and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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