Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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