But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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