Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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