No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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