I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
