well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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