I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
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I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
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Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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