I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
