who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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